The Walkthrough
(not the movie, the computer game)
Warning: Do not use this walkthrough unless you are desperate. This
truly is a game to savor, so just going through and clicking on only
the important things is not recommended. The game has its tough parts,
but it's not one of the more difficult ones. However, if you're near
the end and need to find that one last item, feel free; or if you only
bought it so that you could see the King Brian the Wild sketch, be my
guest. I will soon be putting out a hint file so that those of you who
want gentler hints can have them, so be on the watch. A walkthrough is
much quicker to write.
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[At any time during this walkthrough, feel free to click on any
extraneous items you see in each game scene along the way to suit your
interest, as it will hurt nothing and only make you enjoy the experience
the more for it.]
Part I: Registration
fill out all questions of registration, only paying careful attention
to name, what you seek, favorite color, and capital of Assyria
Part II: Gathering the Items
A Sign From God
watch the opening
click on the ground
shoot the bird
take the coconut
click on the hole
click on the hole that just blew up
click on the hole that just blew up
click on the hole that just blew up
click on the first hole until you get the helmet
click on the lower right hole until you get gold
take the Holly Grail from the billboard
click on right center hole until you get bananas
click on edge of billboard (the clouds) until it repeats
Go Forward to Plague Village
click on the dead body collector
click on the dead body collector and repeat until old man
stops talking
click on the old man over the guy's shoulder
Play Drop Dead, then return (you don't have to win)
click on curtains
click on naked man
shoot bird
take coconut
Click on naked guy
quickly click on the knight who jumps on him to take him
repeat the above two actions until there are no more knights
click on curtains
click on window, and look, but don't take it seriously
click on doorway at the top of the stairs repeatedly until the
woman bashes a hole in the wall with her cat
click on hole
take gold
click on doorway again
the blue hand will try to grab your cursor and then turn into a
fist: there is no way to avoid this.
drag the fist as far to the top and left of the monitor
screen as you can go, then click to lose it
repeat the above if the hand comes back
click on the dung, then quickly click on the gold while it flips
click on left wheel of cart (it should come off if you click on
the right part)
click on dung repeatedly until you take it
Return to Sign from God
click on clouds at sides until God appears again
click on his beard until Zoot's Medallion comes out
take Zoot's Medallion
Forward to Plague Village
click on cart
take dead body
click on end of leg to take cover off
click on cart (with explosions) until a large cavity opens up
Forward to Witch Village
click on Bedevere
click on witch
click on Bedevere
click on witch
Play Burn the Witch (you don't have to win).
click on Bedevere
shoot bird
take coconut
click on bird in tree
repeat the above until the bird lays a skull in the crowd, and take
careful notice of the order that the crowd is "played"
repeat the same order of notes you saw (by clicking on sections
of the crowd)as many times as necessary to get the witch to open
her robe (the sequence is: lower center part of crowd, lower
right, lower center, upper center)
after sequence, click on left window behind crowd
take gold from right window
click on witch until odd flying witch sequence appears
Forward to the Black Knight
(after sequence) click on bridge until the Black Knight comes
Play Knights in Combat as Arthur
click on Steer skull near tent
shoot bird
take coconut
click on steer skull until his story's finished
click on ditch until it fills with water
click on bridge for Arthur to go over it
click on leaf at right lower edge of screen
click on old woman's nose
take gold
click on tent to enter it
take all of the mannequin parts
click on chest
take the Holy Prosthesis
open wardrobe
take Black Knight's tights
click on head
close wardrobe
open top drawer
take gold
close top drawer (if it doesn't close automatically)
go through Diary (on bed) until you come to "PlaySquire Magazine"
take Black Knight's sword
leave tent
Play Knights in Combat as the Black Knight (for fun, just don't be *too*
good and kill Arthur).
click on leaf in upper left tree (if it's the right one it should fall)
click on fallen leaf
take key
Return to Witch Village
take Joseph of Aramathea
Forward to Black Knight
Forward to Book
read through book until the page after a drawing of a page (i.e.
messenger)
shoot bird
take coconut
take from the largest pile of gold 4 times
turn page
click on picture
watch sequence
click on Dial Intershrub button (you should have 1128 gold pieces)
after sequence click on Laurel
click on compose message
write something (e.g. Hope you enjoy "it"!)
click again on message button to close
click on address button
click on down arrow, then choose Knights who say Ni
click on send button
click on back, then exit
watch sequence
turn page and amuse yourself with the dialogue
Go forward to Camelot
click on castle to show video
click on castle until cloud comes out
shoot cloud
click on castle
shoot bird
take coconut
click on castle to take bricks until sun and cloud come out
click on cloud
take gold
Return to Book
Turn to Sir Robin's page
take sign that's at the top of the page opposite picture
Forward to Camelot
click on castle until only tower is left
click on tower until it "comes" into your inventory
after peasant cart leaves click on door
click on coffin to open
Forward to Loimbard
click on up hand or down hand (whichever one is necessary)until the
dialogue is finished and the Catch the Cow invite appears
Play Catch the Cow (you don't have to win)
click on Arthur
shoot bird
take coconut
click on Arthur until sheep's bladder comes out
quickly take sheep's bladder
click on up hand
click on brick in center section (second from right, center) until you
find gold
take gold
click on top stone of left section of bricks
take "vous"
click on right French guy and shoot targets until he throws the Samurai
Helmet
quickly take Samurai Helmet
click on down hand
click on the lower portion of Bedevere's garment (surcoat) and shoot
targets until Rolly Polly comes out
quickly take Rolly Polly
Forward to Anthrax
click on brightest star between left tree and castle
keep clicking until Virgo the Virgin shows up (there should be a sound
effect when you reach it)
click on the outline of castle until there's a string of lights along
top edge and lights above the door light up
click on center of lights above door to reveal sign
click on each window until the lights are on in all
click on the stubby branch (bottom center) on the long branch in the
lower right of screen
take the blossoms
click on base of new branch
take the broccoli
click on base of same branch twice
click on door 5 times to go in
watch video
Play Spank the Virgin (you have to win, but it's not hard). Write down
the numbers and their order during the final round (the Nude Bonus
Round)
leave virgins to go outside
click on Zoot
shoot cupid
take both coconuts
click on plaque above door (a row of numbers should show up)
enter the combination you got during the nude bonus round
take the Moldy Tail (i.e. gold grail above castle)
click on left tree trunk repeatedly until the monk leaves behind gold
click on castle door to go back in
sit through video sequence again
click on white virgin in upper left
click on pink virgin
click on lower white virgin
click on yellow virgin
click on green virgin
click on upper white virgin's face
click on each virgin in the room until they all have gone through four
costume changes (original to gauzy nightgown, armor, costumes, kinky
lingerie)
click on center virgin through same costume changes
take bodice on center virgin (part of kinky lingerie)
watch video
leave virgins to go outside
Forward to Caves of Caerbannog
watch where the four spare knights come from
click on landscape (with explosions) until the explosion is right in
the cave and Tim appears
click on Arthur twice
click in the areas where the four spare knights came out to get them
all where they stood before
click on cave
click on rabbit
watch sequence where knights get holy hand grenades
click on cave
[note: this next part takes quick timing, so you may have to try a few
times]
pick up holy hand grenade with left mouse button held down, and drag it
over rabbit, following the rabbit, then releasing it right when he
gets to the far left disposable knight
click on dragon that comes out of hole
after chase, click on dragon again
click on the Goldy Hail that comes out of dragon while guy talks (he'll
give it to you eventually)
click on cave
shoot bird
take coconut
click on cave
shoot peasant
take coin
click on cave
quickly take wooden rabbit (it might take a double click)
Go forward to Bridge
disregard the message
click on mountains in background to take Huge Tracts of Land
Return to Caves
Forward to Bridge
click on bridge keeper
shoot bird
take coconut
click on bridge keeper
answer questions (Assyria is trick question, so you'll die the
first time)
answer questions correctly after being resurrected
(use same favorite color as you specified in registration)
Part III: Placing Items & Lightening Patsy's Load
[If you go forward to the bridge you'll notice that there are no boards
for the first section. This section is about placing each important
item in the correct place (you get a board for each one) and making
Patsy's pack lighter by getting rid of everything unnecessary, so that
you'll be light enough to cross the bridge.]
click on Run Away
Go to Sign from God by clicking on map
click on the side clouds of billboard until "Huge Tracts of Land"
appears
drag "Huge Tracts of Land" from inventory onto billboard (#1)
watch video
Forward to Plague Village
drag Camelot from inventory onto grill-like cavity (#2)
watch video
now it's time to empty Patsy's pack of everything unimportant. Drag all
of the following items from inventory onto the barrel: blossoms,
broccoli, 11 coconuts, 9 bricks, sheep's bladder, vous, Black Knight's
Tights, holy prosthesis, helmet, bananas, dung, and 7 knights.
Forward to Witch Village
open inventory and scroll until Virgin's Bodice is visible
click on witch until she opens her robe
quickly drag bodice from inventory onto witch while her robes are open
(#3)
watch video
Forward to Black Knight
click on bridge
go into tent
open wardrobe
drag Samurai Helmet onto hat form (#4)
watch video
exit tent
Forward to Book
go to Lancelot's Page
drag Black Knight's sword onto sword outline on left page (#5)
watch video
go to Knights who say Ni page
click on picture and watch video
click Dial Intershrub
buy and send to Knights who say Ni 5 azaleas and 6 elderberries (you should have 407 gold coins before this point if you followed
directions correctly).
watch sequence Forward to Camelot
drag dead body from inventory into coffin (#6)
watch video Forward to Loimbard
click on up hand
drag wooden rabbit from inventory onto the top half of the bunny
outline on the upper bricks of the left section (#7)
watch video Forward to Anthrax
click on bottom left of center of screen to bring up Zoot
drag Zoot's Medallion onto Zoot's hat (#8)
watch video Forward to Cave
drag Joseph of Aramathea from inventory onto the pedestal (#9)
watch video
Forward to Bridge
drag certain death sign from inventory onto hole in the rock pile in
the bottom left corner of the screen (#10)
watch video
[At this point your inventory should only have the key and the fake
grails. If you have more than that (which, again, you shouldn't if
directions were followed) you must go back to the barrel (for items)
or Intershrub (for gold)]
Forward to Bridge close-up
Forward to go over Bridge
Watch King Brian the Wild segment
drag key from inventory onto the lock on the chest
take the grail!
You've now done what they failed to get in the movie: you've gotten the
grail.
Enjoy, and if you ended up going through the game too quickly, you might
want to do it again, but this time concentrating on trying everything.
Any comments or corrections? You can reach me at either
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long as it reamins intact.